Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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