You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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