hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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