I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize