wrigley field is MILF paradise
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
this will be a night to untag.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
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