my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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