I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
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I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
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I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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