I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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