this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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