He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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