Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize