im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize