I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's shark week go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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