Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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