I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize