i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
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My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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