Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
God, I missed his penis.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize