im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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