I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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