Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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