watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize