I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
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They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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