Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize