how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize