I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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