I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
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Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
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Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize