Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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