Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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