she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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