He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize