I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
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I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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