Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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