dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it because I queefed?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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