Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize