He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize