I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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