Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
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some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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