: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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