i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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