god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I forget how to act sober
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