Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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