and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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