Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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