I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize