Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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