I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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