Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize