Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
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Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
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Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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