Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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