No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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